Recebidos.net

That fire was not the worst.

However, the firefighters found a fatal victim. It was a

blonde, upside down, with the index finger pointing somewhere.

Beside her was a fire extinguisher, where it read:

'In Case of Fire, Turn upside down and Point to the Flame'

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A blonde was driving on a road when he saw a sign that read:

'Dangerous curve on the Left.' She had no doubts: to become

Right!

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Why is a blonde, every time you buy a carton of milk, open it up

right there in the supermarket? Because the box is written: 'Open here'.

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A blonde enters the race at home and shouted:

- Daddy, Daddy, I saw two thieves to steal our car!

- And you are able to recognize them? - Asks the father.

- No! - She answered - but I wrote it down registration to ... ..!

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You know why the blond only use the letter T in their agenda for

phones? They write: Telephone of Ana, Telephone of Mary,

The phone

Manuel, etc ...

Once, a priest and a nun, returned to the convent.
By fall of the night, saw a hut in the middle of the road, and agreed to stay and continue their journey the next day.
When entering the cabin, they saw that there was only one bed.
The priest and nun entreolharam up and, after a few seconds of silence, the priest said: Sister, can sleep in the bed that I sleep on the floor here.
And so they did. However, in the middle of the night her sister woke Father:
Father! Are you awake?
The priest, drunk from sleep:
Yes, sister, you need something?
I got cold ... can give me a blanket?
Yes, sister, for sure! The priest got up, went for a blanket to the closet and covered his sister with great tenderness.
An hour later, her sister agrees the priest again: Father! Still awake? Father: AH? Sister ... What now?
It is still am cold. Can you give me another blanket?
Sure sister, for sure!
Again, the priest got up full of love and goodwill to attend sister's request.
Another hour passed and, once again, his sister called the priest: Father. You still awake?
Father: Yeah, sister! What now?
Because I am not able to sleep. I'm still with very cold.
Finally, understand the intentions of the sister, the priest then said:
Sister, we're here only two, right?
Sure!
What happens here, or fail to happen, but we know and nobody else, right?
Sure!
So I have a suggestion ... that this is pretending to be husband and wife?
The nun then jumps for joy on the bed and says:
YES! YES!
Then the priest changes the tone of voice and shouted:
So, goddamn it! Stand up and picks up the MERDA OF DECORATING!

An employee of a funeral agency is working at night to examine bodies before they are buried or cremated. It examines a body, identified as Jose Chagas, which is to be cremated, and discovers that the deceased has the biggest penis that he ever saw in my life.
- Sorry, Mr. Chagas believed the official ... ... But I can not send it to the crematorium with this huge thing. She has to be preserved for posterity.
With a knife, remove the penis from the dead, put it in a bottle and go home. The first person to whom he shows the monstrosity is to his wife. - I have something incredible to show you, baby. Not gonna believe it! Then open the bottle and, seeing the contents, the woman shouted, numb: - Oh my God, the Chagas died?
Moral of the story: Do not go home LIGHT WORK!

It all started when ...
The class of law decided put a sentence in a T-shirt that has become fashionable in the University Field: 'Your boyfriend does not make law? Come here that I do. " Then, the staff of Medicine dropped the following: 'He can even make law, but no one knows your body better than me. ? The staff of Directors did not leave for less: 'It does no good to know your body, do law if you do not know what has Administer' The staff of Administration was well on the tape until the class of Agronomy appeared with the following sentence: 'Some know , Others are right and some know what they administer, but the cassava plant as we nobody can! ? Then the staff of Advertising dropped this: "From that advances know well, do right, learn and administer the cassava plant, then you can not tell everyone? ? The class of Engineering, has not been found by, and came out with this: "From that advances know well, do right, namely administer, the cassava plant, and can tell everybody, if you do not have energy and power to do Several times? ? But the sentence that was to become champion was the Economy (k It could only!!
'From that advances know well, do right, namely administer, the cassava plant, can count for everybody, have energy and power to do several times, even if the woman is like money? "Nobody argued for a while, until , The girls of the Course of NUTRITION They left it best (but, MUUUUUUITO WELL, EVEN!) With this: "From that advances know well, do law, namely administration, the cassava plant, can count for everybody, have energy and power to do several times and have money ... If, in the end ... we need always to teach to eat !!!!!'

The acumputura is an almost miraculous treatment. He is able to cure all diseases mainly of pigs thorns.
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Who lives of desperate hope dies.
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The decimal system is an affront to Christianity. If Allah willed that uses the decimal system would have given him in December apostles to Jesus Christ.
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Armstrong was the first black saxophonist to tread on the moon
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The woman has two reasons for losing his head: a good reason and whatever reason.
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Pluviometer: an instrument of precision that says it is raining outside.
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What is not part of the solution is part of the precipitate.
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By creating the world, God made an honest division. He gave the money to the rich to the poor and hungry.
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The love of women is based on the premise that no two men alike. Or different. Whatever.
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Sir, I regret to inform, but his wife is not good in bed
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The lover is needed to break the monogamy.